Another Man's curseBlood comes dripping down my wrists, puddling on the floor, white lino stained.I'm sitting in a classroom, staring out of the window at the building over the way. An old chapel, it belongs to the school. I imagine it over there, cool white stone would create the most beautiful echoes, amplify the smallest noises. A frieze on the wall facing me, man with a shield. Behind it, the clouds trudge, greyish like dirty wool, across a whiter sky.Claret tracks across my skin, no one notices the steady dripping.Between me and that little hallowed places stands a low fence and a small tree. The whole scene is quaint, steady and quiet. And here in this classroom all I can hear are the deafening thoughts of others over their voices, all oblivious to the blood falling from my fingers to the floor. I fear I may die and the last thing I shall hear is the boy in the seat next to me fantasizing about unlikely sex.The cuts do not hurt, the blood falling, falling... My life is draining. Over breakfast Jon and me told Vicky about the ‘arrangement’ that we had and I told her that I was really happy with it, that Jon was the best think that had happened to me. I even told her about the spankings. I got my Ben Wa balls out of my purse and put them on the table. She had no idea what they were and when I told her what they were she said that she “must get some of those, sounds as if they’re better than a man.” I told her that I didn’t agree with that bit, but they certainly had their uses. I had an idea, and asked her if she would like to try them and that she shouldn’t worry about them falling out as you soon learn to control that. With that Jon told her to take them and put them in, in the car on the way.As we were getting up to leave I turned a little abruptly and my left breast came out. When Vicky pointed it out to me I said that I could only adjust my clothes if Jon said so. “What about me?” When I told her that it was only me who couldn’t she stood in front of me.
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